Christian Ties
on January 10, 2020 at 9:23 pm
I look at Billy in “Goliath” Or Bobby Or Chuck in “Billions” and see their ties Around their necks Or even the bow tie in “The Newsroom” and I actually envy them Because they learned how to tie their ties. In high school I was sent away to a boarding one Where we had to wear ties For choir We had what they called “room bucks” (Upper classmen who were supposed to be our parental figures away from home) They, instead, were our nemesis Our bullies And they never taught us how to tie a tie or bow tie Instead they threw us into ice cold showers and swung coat hangers on our tail bones Or threw us out in our underwear to run around the dormitory in the snow Until they tired of the sport For reasons only known to their twisted heads. Oh. Did I mention? This was a ‘Christian’ boarding school. And some of these assholes later became ministers No apologies ever forthcoming. So, some of us bought what they call “clip on” ties. You clip them below the adam’s apple And they sufficed. No Billy No Bobby No Chuck would be caught dead in one. No lawyer. No CEO. But we did, just to make everyone happy. My dad never taught me how to tie a tie. And I do not ever intend to find anyone who will. pg. taft 1.10.20
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